How To Bless Without Burnout

Are you a compassionate person? Do you love to listen to others and encourage them in their Christian faith? Me too! But I’ve been evaluating my time and purpose, finding my identity in exactly who Christ wants me to be and what I am to do to avoid “burnout.”

Recognize the Problem

I constantly realize that I can’t help all hurting people. Sometimes, I feel stretched to my physical and emotional limits. I know God is the only person who can meet the needs of those in pain. I also know that He allows suffering so that we might come to Him as the only source of true peace in our lives. But what is my role? When do I commiserate with the hurting, and when do I speak the truth?

I mentioned this dilemma to a friend recently.

“I’m balancing too many single women in my life right now. I feel so inadequate.” “That’s because you are,” she wisely told me. “You aren’t God, and people need to desire the change they need to solve their problems.”

Do you want to get well?

I thought about her words for several weeks. I’d been studying the questions Jesus asked in the Bible. There are 307 of them in the New Testament. One such question is woven into a story of a lame man in John 5:2-8. Jesus states that an invalid has been waiting a long time next to a pool in hopes that he will be cured. Jesus comes along and inquires, “Do you want to be healed?”

This question might appear to be senseless, but it’s not. Sometimes, I would rather rant about a problem than seek a resolution. Now, listen to what the man replied, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going down, another steps down before me.”

He wanted to rant, not to seek a resolution. The irony is that Jesus was right there and ready to heal Him for the asking! So, back to my role.

The Solution

My friend suggested that people need to be invested in their problems. They need to desire a resolution to the pain they are experiencing. “Eventually, you need to know if they want to be healed or just have someone to listen to them. Remember, their choice can have eternal consequences, but it is still their decision to make.”

I wanted to argue. I have known suffering and grief. Many times, it was a listening ear that helped me sort out my pain. But she was right. God ultimately wants us to turn to Him and the hope only He can provide.

“So, here’s what I do,” this wise woman of God told me, “I give them homework.”

I felt my eyes widen, but I listened.

“Based on their need, I suggest reading a portion of scripture that fits with their need. Then I put the ball in their court. I tell them I will be happy to meet and discuss their problem in light of what God has to say on their issues.”

I paused, soaking in her advice.

“And you know what, many of them never call me again,” she said. “It makes me sad, but their actions tell me they are not ready for change.”

Do you want to get well? Isn’t that what all our problems boil down to? Oh, how I love some of the ladies God has brought into my life. I hurt for them. I lift them up in prayer daily. But I also can’t neglect to point them to God. There are endless scriptures that address problems and God’s solution. I need to be a resource, not just a listening ear. Those I love also need to want to be healed. I pray to that end.

Amen.