How to Minister to the Critically Ill And Their Families
The get-well cards kept coming, day after day. I hung them from the walls of different hospital rooms in different facilities. I pinned them on bulletin boards during brief stays in a nursing home and then a rehab facility. There was hope and then one complication after another.
I realized my husband might not get well. Then, after 123 days in different medical facilities, he was healed in Heaven.
My advice today is based on my reflections after caring for my spouse during his final days. I included things that were helpful to both of us and things that weren’t. My hope is that they might spark an idea of how to be a blessing to others in physical or emotional pain.
Visits to the Critically Ill
Yes, visit, but…
Do check with the nursing staff or family to be sure the patient is up for visitors.
Do make sure the timing is convenient and not during any procedures or tests.
Do come only if you are healthy and wash your hands before entering a room.
Don’t be offended if you are asked to wear a gown or mask to protect either yourself or your loved one.
Do keep your visits short so as not to exhaust the patient of the family.
Do be aware: Your ill person may be attached to tubes and other medical equipment.
Don’t show any signs of alarm or distress at your patient’s appearance.
Patient Interaction
Don’t worry about what to say. You can express sympathy for their struggles.
Do make your loved one feel special by greeting them in a friendly manner. Smile, hold their hand, and talk to them. Even if they appear to be sleeping, the sound of your voice can be calming.
*Do be ready to listen, but don’t pry for information.
*Don’t spout out a ton of Bible verses. God is close to the brokenhearted Psalm 34:18 is one I like to share.
*Do know God promises to be with us in our trials, but He does not always remove them. However, this may not be a timely message to one in extreme pain.
Interaction with Family Caregivers
See * items above
Do offer to relieve the caregiver so he or she may take a break to eat, walk, or even run home if you are comfortable doing this.
Don’t give medical advice or make comparisons to other illnesses.
Do share news of the outside world cautiously. Maybe it’s not the right day to share the fact you are going on a cruise next week…
Do Watch for clues that it’s time to leave. Even pleasant conversations can be exhausting to those struggling.
Gifts and Goodies
Do think mostly in practical terms
Do ask about bringing flowers or plants to an intensive care room, but remember, caring for a plant can present an extra burden to the caregiver.
Do choose cards of encouragement that let your loved one know they are thought of are wonderful.
Do consider the concentration level of the patient and caregivers – magazines may be more appropriate than books.
Do check if and what the patient may be allowed to eat.
Do make it easy for family standing vigil to accept help.
Don’t say, “Call if you need anything.” That puts a burden on the family to come up with something for you to do.
Do bring foods that can be fixed in coffee cups with hot water—oatmeal for breakfast can allow a caregiver to eat in the patient’s room and not miss the doctor’s morning rounds.
Do bring gum, nuts, fruit, a sweet treat, and coins for the vending machine.
Do bring comfort items – lotion, dry shampoo, family pictures
Do bring a notebook and pen for journaling or taking down medical information
Do give gift certificates to the coffee shop or cafeteria, or bring in a meal.
Maybe bring a familiar quilt or blanket if allowed.
Something humorous might also be the best medicine – like leprechaun sunglasses… Just saying…
Our Caregiving motivation:
“Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did it for Me.”
A Resource to Consider
Caring Bridge is a charitable resource whose mission is to make sure no one goes through a health journey alone. Check out their website for additional information.
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