Traveling with Others? Here’s How to Avoid Travel Nightmares
by Barb Sulfridge: A Traveling Widow
Do you ever get the bug to travel? To just take off and go on an adventure? Be careful what you wish for. Your escapade might come with unexpected surprises.
On a trip to Washington, my friend Sara’s luggage was stolen right off the carousel at the airport -- by a thirteen-year-old girl! This darling child ripped off the identification tag and checked her bag onto a flight heading to Texas using a stolen boarding pass. Can you imagine?
Thanks to security cameras and the work of a detective, she was caught. We prayed she would get some needed help, but this unexpected event had us arriving at our Airbnb at 2:30 a.m.
To complicate the matter, the airlines informed Sara it would probably take up to six days to find her suitcase and have it sent to our destination. They advised her to purchase what she needed at their expense. That was nice, but it took most of the next day to shop for and launder her new six-day wardrobe.
The trip was full of ups and downs, but we came away with many humorous stories and a closer relationship because we were both able to be adaptable. We definitely felt safer traveling together in the middle of the night. We were also able to split the cost of a small apartment, and we made decisions as a team. We also learned we will not be checking our luggage next time we travel.
You won’t be lonely if you travel with a friend or family member, but you will need to choose wisely, or your trip might turn into a nightmare. I advise anyone who considers traveling together to look at three main areas of possible conflict before you start packing your bags. They include the needs, interests, and areas of possible conflict for you AND your traveling partner.
Needs
I would have said my needs were minimal until I actually made a list. I require coffee to even function as soon as possible in the morning. Then, due to a medication I take, I must wait an hour to eat breakfast. I don’t even mind waiting several hours to eat or simply grabbing a granola bar for breakfast. I need some quiet time in the morning, too, before I’m ready to be completely social.
I need eight hours of sleep, or I start getting sleep-deprived. Over time, I might even become a tiny bit cranky. I need to read or listen to a book on tape before I can go to sleep, too, but I use earbuds so as not to bother others. Those are my big items. Am I too high-maintenance for you?
It would be to my advantage to know my potential companion's needs as well. I would advise discussing these items early on. If two people don’t fit well together, that’s okay. It is better to know before plans begin to unfold.
Interests
Second, it is essential both parties discuss their interests. It helps to have at least some things in common. Options could be considered on a spectrum instead of either/or options. For example, how much of the trip do you like fully scheduled days versus unplanned activities? What percent of your time do you like to shop versus sightseeing?
On the other hand, you might want more precise information. Do you enjoy formal tours or just a map and a rough game plan? Do you prefer museums or cultural events? Fine dining or casual? Last of all, how will all these decisions be made? Will you take turns making them? Will you both be comfortable splitting up and doing things independently without awkward moments or hard feelings?
A solution my friend Julie makes when she travels with her sisters each year is worth mentioning. They all choose an agreeable location, but then one person gets to choose a day’s activities for the entire group. They all get “their day,” and the others are not allowed to complain. I think their plan is very creative.
When making choices about who will do what travel tasks, you want to consider each individual’s strengths and weaknesses. Is one of you better at navigation and map reading? Who likes to research eating places? Do either of you have access to hotel discounts? Who is better at keeping track of receipts for shared expenses to split later on? Are your roles distributed somewhat equally?
Possible Conflicts
Once you are comfortable with each other’s needs and interests, you will probably find that irritations can still arise. We have needs, but we also have preferences. I knew of friends who traveled together, but one of them was shocked to find her cabin mate set an alarm every day of the trip. She claimed she liked to stay on a schedule. Like me, she enjoyed sleeping 8 hours a night, while her friend only needed 6 hours of sleep a night. Hmmm…
Might you have a conflict over the room temperature? The use of the bathroom? My friend Sheryl shared a room with a distant relative for a wedding. The cousin immediately informed her she had dibs on the bed by the window, and the first shower in the morning, and needed the room temperature to be at least seventy degrees. They were not speaking by the end of the trip.
You might even schedule a short trial run trip before committing to a longer journey together if you and your travel companion don’t know each other well. Regardless, compromise, taking turns, and being adaptable to change are key to preventing conflict.
Finally, if things don’t work out, it doesn’t mean either of you are bad people. You just didn’t blend well together on a 24/7 basis. All of life is a learning opportunity, and, really, there is no place like home.
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