Who said you weren’t Worthy?
Getting to know Backwoods Barb
I have insecurities.
I am now what many would call a senior citizen. I have gray hair and I earned each one of them. I may appear confident, but isn’t self-assurance a mask we all hide behind? I used to be such a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me. So, I hid behind a wall of insecurities and tried to fit in. Can you relate?
Maybe I was a late bloomer, but it took me many years to go out on a limb and try to reach a goal I had always wanted to achieve. You see, I was terrible at writing. In high school, I was placed in an advanced English class. We studied Greek roots and advanced vocabulary, but somehow, I never learned to write. I struggled over every written assignment I was ever given.
When I went to college, I flunked the English part of my SATs and had to take something called “Bonehead English.” I was given a huge workbook where I had to identify the parts of sentences. I did not get any practice writing though.
When computers came along, I was delighted to be able to move text around by punching keys that allowed me to rearrange words and phrases in sentences. This helped and I even managed to produce a thesis to go along with my Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education. Because this was to be a published work, I hired a proofreader to point out my many errors.
I had a dream.
Fast forward many years, and I still wanted to be able to craft beautiful text that could encourage and influence others. A teaching colleague and writing friend suggested I apply for a fellowship with the Boise State Writing Project. It took two tries to be accepted into the program, but I finally found some peers who were equally interested in writing and teaching children to be better writers.
Let me tell you about my first day of class. My new peers and I were asked to introduce ourselves. Our professor instructed us to pick an adjective that described us. It had to start with the same letter as our first name. This would be our name for the coming year. Then, like any good teacher, he modeled what he expected us to do.
“I’m Jeff,” he began as he strode across the front of the room pretending to bounce a ball. “I like basketball, so you can call me Jump-Shot Jeff, or simply Jeff.” He lobbed his ball into an invisible hoop; then he smiled at us, “Now, it’s your turn.”
I only had minutes to come up with something clever and creative. I felt my palms begin to sweat as I contemplated words beginning with the letter B. Beautiful? No way? Bashful? Maybe, but I didn’t want my peers to know my deepest secret. I was the only kindergarten teacher among my colleagues. Some of them even taught Shakespeare to high school students.
“What do I like?” I asked myself. All I could think of were trees. Suddenly, as if in answer to an unspoken prayer, I had my new alias.
“Hi,” I said with growing confidence. “I’m Backwoods Barb. I live in Lowman in the Boise National Forest. I am one of 66 full-time residents who reside there, and I love the woods.” I noted amused smiles and nods from my peers. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
A new name, a perfect identity.
I grew to love my new name. I have always been a backwoods kind of gal. Trees fascinated me as a young child. I used to imagine they reached the top of the sky. Summer has always been my favorite season, and I would ride my bike for miles for the chance to earn money picking apples or cherries in Oregon. I love to hike, and I can identify a ridiculous number of tree species in the woods.
I think of myself as being deeply rooted in Jesus and continually growing in my faith. I want to be the kind of Christian that can withstand the storms of life and help support others in their hard times. I strongly believe that God can use our trials to help us grow closer to Him.
God has a special name for us too.
Knowing our worth is not in the opinions of others has helped me become more comfortable with the person God created me to be. I was made in His image and have unique gifts that can be used to help grow His kingdom here on earth. He loves me, and all his children, enough that He sent Jesus to die for our sins. We can have salvation and freedom in Him. He also gives us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live the life were are called to live.
We are joint heirs with Him, even when we experience suffering, for we are called out of darkness into his glorious light. Dare to believe who God says you are. You are loved, chosen, redeemed, and a treasure. Need some more names? Here’s a great list of verses to help you remember your worth in Him. https://rccgonline.org/17-names-god-calls-you/ The names He gives us are priceless.
What are your dreams? It’s never too late to redefine yourself as a child of God and meet some goal you have dreamed of achieving.
A good name is more desirable than great riches. Proverbs 22:1